Malady:

I just wanted to say Hello and welcome to the forums....I love it here, it's been a great source of information and support and it helps a whole lot just knowing you're not alone. Sick as that sounds. Because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

To the point, I've read several of your posts, especially here and in the Survivors of Abuse forum and I see alot of similarities between us, although my primary abuser was not my father.

I also have hallucinations. I am not schizophrenic, as far as I know, but my younger brother is. Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia. And my mother is DID and in a major battle with psychosis right now. She was my abuser, however, so I don't have much to do with her anymore.

Spiritually speaking, I believe alot of what you believe. My reality is what I see, hear, smell and taste. I rely on no one to tell me it's there or not, because I hate the concept of "normal". Know what I mean?

I see things alot, that some people wouldn't believe. I have a birdman who always lets me know to watch my step. When I see him out of the corner of my eye, I know to slow down if I'm driving or just watch my behind because there's potential trouble in the future. I seem to have a connection to animals and I think they watch out for me. This is not harming anyone, so I would just as soon keep this knowledge within my brain. I hear someone calling my name and I'm not so sure that it's a hallucination. I was with my Mother-in-law when she died, and around 10 min. beforehand, I heard someone yelling my name and came back inside and no one admitted they did it. I really think I was needed and it was a spirit guiding me. Now I still hear things but I think it's my mother-in-law speaking to me from the great beyond.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but it's not easy for me to talk about in 3d and it's hard to talk about at the forums sometime, so you just sorta opened up a flood gate. LOL..SORRY!!!!!

Sometimes I just think I want someone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Anyway, just wanted to welcome you to the forums and it's great to see you jumping right in!

Take Care and Many Blessings,
Kimberly.