Sorry to hear about your experiences. You have suffered a great deal. I don't have any advice to give you but I offer you my support.

I have a husband and daughter that I cherish very much. They are often the only people who keep me on this planet. In that circumstance I know how you feel. However, I also learned that I'm a good person outside of my family. They aren't my whole identity. Eventually my daughter will finish college and move out into her own life. I feel that I'm ready to make that transition, though I would miss her terribly.