I'd just tell T where I am at.

I don't ever talk about future or even much present day stuff in therapy -- it's actually become an issue to the point that she's mentioned it (she never brings up any topic on her own and so, it's kind of a big deal). It just straight up terrifies me to do it.

The closest I've come to saying anything is that I never ever thought I'd live to the age I am (late 30s) or even make it past childhood. So, I'd never thought of what I want to do with my life for more than a year or so out. For the first time recently, it's hit me that I might actually live for a while and so, it's a strange, weird and unsettling feeling to think about that prospect -- still don't know how to deal with it though and the feeling is still not constant.