Quote:
Originally Posted by BadMojo47
I was never taught to ask for pity or handouts, my parents encouraged me to strive for high standards of personal responsibility. Moreover, I understand that there are people in this world who have suffered far greater than I. I believe I should always keep that in the forefront of my thinking. I am only here because they need me to be.
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I shouldn't post this, but I hate this mode of thinking. Hate it hate it hate it. Maybe I'm really just a narcissist, but I hate being reminded I have no right to feel. That I'm evil for existing the way I do.
Quote:
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As you go about your life this day and the next, I would ask that you pose a question for yourself. What will sustain you in the dark moments of this life? Put differently, what will keep you moving forward when all hope is lost? Those you hold dear are the only reason you are here. I am only here because they need me to be.
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Nothing. I don't love anyone or care about anyone. No one needs me. In fact, most people would probably be better off if I was dead. I'm trying to get a narrative of spite, aggrandizement, and vengeance going on, something to propel me forward to do something worthwhile.
Honestly, living just out of duty sounds awful.