I can relate unfortunately. I feel traumatized also, and I don't trust it. Expressing such a sentiment is often equated with fear, cowardice, apathy, etc. For me though it's based on a clear-eyed apprehension of what happened and what the system is about.

What you say about getting hooked, yes I get it. With the one T there was no physical contact (until the final session) but the emotional "hugs" were powerfully addictive. And yea the separation after each session. I've described it as an agonizing withdrawal as from a powerful drug. I think this opening up of primary needs and pain, and then being sent away, is really destabilizing and dangerous. And the fact that the client can be terminated against their will for almost any reason makes things even more perilous.

I think the way you feel is appropriate. It's a natural response to the sort of love bombing and intense attunement that sometimes comes with therapy. Sure it's a professional relationship on paper, but it has many of the trappings of an intimate relationship. A bizarre and disorienting hybrid.

Hope you can find some help and come up with some other options if you choose not to resume therapy. Anyway, no advice from me. But just want to say I get it.