nah im sorry... wasnt thinkin about the big S... i mean obviously thats a transient thought... to me atleast...nice sometimes... but not what i want ultimately...
super sorry that it might of sound like that...

im not so sure i can ask now..

i guess i just maybe was thinking about how you are supposed to tell a therapist or doctor something...?
if its something you dont wanna say or talk about and think they just reject you on it like everyone alsways does on everything...

i should know better than posting stuff.. always know tomorow im gonna be like wtf so its just stupid.. but i really would like to figure things out...
been trying to be honest more with them instead of filtering heavily.. still filtering...
but its because they dont know what to do with me now, if i open all the way the what they do with me..? lock me up.....? cant let that happen...

T is cool but this stuff not her specialty...dunno how to say stupid things that need to be said...

dunno how to commit words maybe kind of... "Say this!!!" trance space stars dot dot dot dot smoke clouds huh? wha? oh its over... ill tell you next time...


wish she could read my mind sometimes...