I really relate to your question too. I've worried about what I missed out on for all those years that I really didn't live my life. There were a lot of things that I did, but didn't really experience fully or enjoy, for whatever reason. I have a lot of regrets, and wish that I could have those years back. Mostly, I regret hiding in the background or the shadows, and not being noticed, and not having real, lasting relationships with others. I never believed that I had anything to offer that anyone wanted or cared about. I wish that I had known that there were choices and options and opportunities available for me. I couldn't see them, and lacked the confidence to look for them. I do feel like the gaps in my life have left me 'behind' and struggling to go back and re-capture those experiences. I'm not so concerned about catching up though. And I think that when we work through these things we can tend to get more out of them and value them more than if we had an average experience in the first place.

You may be aware of, or may be interested in Erikson's developmental stages. His theory was that poor outcomes at earlier stages would leave us stuck and unable to resolve later stages successfully. But he also thought that we can go back and work through those things and resolve them. That's what therapy is about. Here's a link if you would like to read more about Erikson's stages: http://www.learningplaceonline.com/s...ze/Erikson.htm As you will see, the major developmental task in adolescence is identity, and in young adult hood it is intimacy. I have always found that my experiences fit pretty well with this theory.

Rap