I'm gonna ask my t if she has that book and if she does if I can borrow it. I know she has a lot of books - they're not in her office, but she has mentioned before that she might move them into there. She's recommended so many to me and I have read some of them, ones I could find at either the library or the used bookstore while we did phone sessions, and I've borrowed some from her as well since she's been back in town.

I'm definitely not allergic to positivity. I find practicing it very helpful (most of the time). It doesn't really work when I'm around my mother.

I made a pizza instead of bread - well I guess it's really the same thing, pizza is just bread with toppings. It's baking now. And, I whipped up a cake for good measure that baked while I was making the pizza and letting the dough rise. Good eatin's at my house this afternoon!

And I'm feeling better already. Letting myself feel my feelings, even the ones from t earlier, and then letting them go isn't such a bad thing after all. I told t as I was leaving, that I wasn't going straight home, and I didn't. I didn't cry, which is what usually happens when I'm fighting to NOT feel, but I couldn't look at her as I left either - cuz then I would have. I just gave her a thumbs up over my shoulder and let the feelings come and got in my car and turned Melissa up super-loud as I drove away.