Woke up very depressed today. Was real anxious, too-- not about anything in particular, just an overall feeling of being completely unsafe. I laid around a lot... took a short nap... did some schoolwork... more laying around... now it's almost midnight and I'm wide awake... have been crying a bit on and off... gotta get up at 6:30. I am scared because when I get very depressed like this sometimes it means the beginning of an episode... they can last up to 7 weeks. That's the problem with my moods-- always a surprise. I could wake up tomorrow feeling better, worse, the same.... but I'm real nervous because I felt like this on Wednesday and now today. I want T. I don't feel comfortable calling him when I'm so down... I feel like I'd be bothering him. I just don't know what to do with myself right now.