A few things come to mind. The bum she is living with probably gives her good feelings coupled with low expectations. She likely feels capable and in control with him.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the effect having an alcoholic (and absent) father had on your daughter. The fact that she now has a resident, omni-present boyfriend who is dependent on her for his support, says a lot.

I agree with Rose for the most part. If you need to interact with this man, be polite and nothing more. But I would also suggest you not in any way encourage your daughter to take on more debt: schools are far too quick to encourage young people to take on massive debt. This is a mistake in my opinion. So if you had the chance to encourage your daughter one way or the other, I'd suggest the other. Example: Daughter says, "I don't know whether to take out another school loan, or to extend my education a year by going part time." If my daughter said that to me, I'd say: "I would extend my education; a year goes by quickly, a debt can take many years to pay off." I think that is appropriate parenting; you are offering wisdom that your daughter, because of her developmental stage, does not yet have. Legally she is an adult; but her brain, and her judgment, are still developing, believe it or not, until she is about 25 or so.

If it comes to pass that she decides she is done supporting a bum, you could be ready with information and an offer for a happy and successful transition back to your home for the time it takes her to finish school near you: She could live with you for no or reduced rent and attend the XYZ school close to you (assuming this is possible), for example. I would not offer a place for him; if she wants to move back and he is part of the deal, then he has to find his own place to live.

One last thought. "Active listening" can sound a lot like an interrogation, and is especially dependent on tone of voice. "You're angry he doesn't do the dishes!" You're ANGRY he doesn't do the dishes?!?!? YOU'RE angry HE doesn't do the dishes??!?! I much prefer thoughtful listening; which is a whole lot more listening and a whole lot less parroting what the speaker says. "I'm so angry Lazy Larry doesn't do the dishes!" (silence. Let her sentence lie there and let her think about it.) Only if she asks for advice do you comment. "What should I do?!?!" Answer: "Paper plates, eating out, equitable division of duties--there are lots of solutions to problems, dear."

I'd also buy and send her a copy of Adult Children of Alcoholics. It's very illuminating and she can pick and choose what she takes from it.

I wish you and your dear daughter the very best.