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Originally Posted by healingme4me
Companionship is important with relationships. It's about partnership. If a sense of feeling like a team is lacking in a relationship, resentment can grow.
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That makes sense, I think. Now what I'm not sure about is, what does it depend on if it can feel like that way?
To make this clearer... I know what this is like in a friendship. But, when I was going out with a guy for a while (a year or so), it was not there. This was a while ago and it was pretty new stuff to me so I didn't really know how to put into words what was wrong or why, I just knew it was wrong. Then, I broke up with him, later we were able to be friends and there I had no problem with feeling like we were a team with stuff and we really were. Why the difference??!
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I didn't want to find myself in another relationship vulnerable to being a doormat or frustrated with feeling like something was missing without being able to pinpoint why.
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I relate to the second part of this very much. (The underlined part.)
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Maybe, in your trying to understand what went afoul with your last relationship look at what you liked and didn't like? Grieving is tough.
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I can look at those things just fine but that does not make me understand better on its own since a lot of it was undefined, just a vague reaction or feeling that I know was not positive or not sure what it was a reaction to specifically. Even in the cases where I know, I don't know if the thing - say something the partner did NOT do - was something that could have been changed. Or is this just, either they are that way or not?
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Sorry that I can't provide links to any sites right now. It was a learning process and I spent a lot of time sorting through it.
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Thanks anyway
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Originally Posted by leomama
Ok, I learned about this on a youtube site called thrive after abuse, I can post the link for you,
That is the playlist 50 flags of a narcissist.
I also just started reading psychopath free, which lists 30 flags of a psychopath.
I can give you some examples of deal breakers that the channel hostess lists: adultery, addiction, drama, lying.
Is that useful? |
Thanks, yes, I think most of these you listed are obvious enough things to me. What is meant by drama here, the manipulative version that is produced so that the actual facts are not being paid attention to?
What is less obvious to me is the emotional compatibility thing...
