That makes sense, I think. Now what I'm not sure about is, what does it depend on if it can feel like that way?

To make this clearer... I know what this is like in a friendship. But, when I was going out with a guy for a while (a year or so), it was not there. This was a while ago and it was pretty new stuff to me so I didn't really know how to put into words what was wrong or why, I just knew it was wrong. Then, I broke up with him, later we were able to be friends and there I had no problem with feeling like we were a team with stuff and we really were. Why the difference??!

I relate to the second part of this very much. (The underlined part.)

I can look at those things just fine but that does not make me understand better on its own since a lot of it was undefined, just a vague reaction or feeling that I know was not positive or not sure what it was a reaction to specifically. Even in the cases where I know, I don't know if the thing - say something the partner did NOT do - was something that could have been changed. Or is this just, either they are that way or not?

Thanks anyway



Thanks, yes, I think most of these you listed are obvious enough things to me. What is meant by drama here, the manipulative version that is produced so that the actual facts are not being paid attention to?

What is less obvious to me is the emotional compatibility thing...