I'm really sorry about all that you are going through. You've been through a lot of pain. I can relate and understand that it's hard for you to completely walk away from the situation. It will take time to heal and work through all those emotions. It is an adjustment to be by yourself and the unknown is scary, but it's something to consider since giving ourselves space can make us stronger. Your fear is completely natural. Whatever you choose to do, take care of yourself, try to focus on you.