I have been going through maraige issues. Wife cheated on me last summer. Now we are separating, we are at her parents on the beach for the weekend and on the way down she tells me that it will never work because she can't deal with my BP. She is a nurse, and tells me that I am just trying to create drama.

I went from sat to Monday night withou sleeping hardly at all. I made a Plan with pdoc to up my seroquel to 600 for a bit. She reminded me that I am BP and it is foolish to think that I will never have swings. So the first night I took the new dose of seroquel I got up to get some water and made a huge noise.

Shel said seeing me in that state made her realize that she does not want to be with anybody who has a MI. I want a divorce, she has been abusive to me our whole maraige. I am afraid of being alone, even though that is what I need most right now. I am also afraid that I will never be able to sustain another relationship again.

I wish I was selfish enough to end it,but I am not. I don't know why but I want to hurt myself. How the #%^* did I get here? A week ago I was so stable that I was questioning my diagnosis.