I never know how to start or talk orwhat to bring back, I suffer with amnesia as soon as I go in sometimes, I am panicking so much about therapy today, I feel I dont want to go, I've just taken something to relax me, help i am falling so so bad, I have been posting positive in cc and am afraid to post my feelings today, I'm no fraud, but today I feel I am going backwards instead of forwards. I am remembering stuff, anxiety is gripping, I am wanting to bang my head against a wall again, sorry this is a rant, I want to cancel and go to bed and hide but I can;t let my therapist down. oh god I hate this. Flashbacks all the time, I need to calm down.

frightened, Jin