Sometimes once the pressure of being a "couple" is released, that friendship base becomes obvious. I have come to realize that, that is where the old cliche of being friends first comes from. So often men and women put so much at stake in being a couple, the friendship becomes misplaced.
This aspect might tie into emotional compatibility? Can they hear it in your voice or see it in your face, if you're having a bad day or something is wrong? Is there sensitivity to that?

"Investigate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

That makes sense about putting too much stake in though I don't know if that was it in this case. Maybe, maybe not, no idea. But it's a thought I'll keep in mind for sure

Uhm, why are you asking about these specific examples? Why this kind of stuff specifically, I mean.

To answer, no idea if my ex's had this kind of sensitivity towards me and that on its own would not really be satisfying enough for sure. It's a nice thing to do to ask if I'm ok but if I have a problem that I want to talk about, I will anyway. So whatever I was missing so far was not this. Part of the answer I saw in yagr's thread but it still doesn't seem to be telling me everything.

Sorry if I sound so vague.