this is something i have been curious about too..
of course i dont know what my problem is and cant say that i have much of a clue..
i could argue with myself all day and night about it but i've pretty much wore that ball game out so im just trying to ride the storm out so to speak..?

i know i have a dissociative issue but im not saying d.i.d. ........ i do know that i often find myself wondering about why things are this way, but its been something that i have been curious about since i first got the internet and was able to research stuff about consciousness and philosophy and existence .. around age of 11/12 yrs..
if only i could remember everything that i have read then i would be super super brilliant! or maybe reading so many contradicting things that cause you to question your very own existence is whats caused the great confusion..
who knows... part of me still thinks that i died in one of those near death experiences and this is just my little realm to purge the impurities from a distraught soul so that i can move on higher up the scale to regain my wings... but then you cant say too many things about the inside because people will no doubt look at you with a crooked face ya know?
i mean how can you tell someone you think you might be dead and that they are all just part of the program to your purification without them thinking you are totally pyschotic?
no one has ever said they thought i was psychotic but they havent really understood either... sometimes i wonder, maybe it is a psychosis!
but psychosis doesnt cause such a huge memory disruption and identity alteration that i am aware of..
plus my therapist keeps reassuring me that its not..

but anyway, i just found it interesting the way you worded this ... i feel like i miss who is supposed to be me, or who im supposed to be because im totally an imposter ( Imposter syndrome fever??) ((sorry about stealing your life btw :/ ))
i feel so bad about it, but i dunno what to do.. its like having a brother somewhere that you know is alive, but not sure where, or even if he is ok, but you just hope that its all good.. and that you can be reunited at some point...

i think from what i have read about co-conscious to really have a deep understanding we have to really understand consciousness itself maybe..?
this is just my thoughts but my life is really confusing so i just over analyze everything and end up making it more confusing/complicated by trying to quantize everything...
but there are so many thoughts on what consciousness is, its difficult to really come to a general consensus..
especially when it can seem like the entirety of existence is just projected from inside your own mind right?
people without d.i.d. really seem to not have a clue about this sad but true nature of existence... i guess maybe because their consciousness exists on a solid line where as there are breaks in the line with dissociative disorders...
co-conscious just being when the breaks are "tethered" with a phone line that can transfer information when there is not a big electrical storm occurring... ?

but i believe in quantum connections.. so i feel like on some level we are all part of each other... we've just been "dissociated" through thousands of years of practice with these "teachings" people fall into :/ (as humans, not individuals..)
thats just an opinion from like a fallen angel type view...

i think that is cool that you guys have internal communication though, i try to speak inside and ill get my head bit off - totally forbidden, and what communication i do have is discreet and disguised so that i dont notice

how can i live outside and inside simultaneously without knowing either or? i have no clue -- maybe im just a referee to keep the game in motion , but have you ever seen a referee out on a game field by himself blowing the whistle and calling out things by himself? lol



i've been trying for disability (not like i want it or anything.. but really need it to help recovery..) i was dx bipolar and its all been messed up for the past 5-6 years, trying to get a handle on things and figure stuff out.. fight the government and fighting the doctors too because they think im probably just a drug addcited aclholic or something..? dunno what they think, i dont come across as that type when they talk to me and seems like they always act like im the sweetest person ever but i just keep trying to tell them that life is not ok and please help and understand me without making me say too much please
but they want to see you crying and bleeding and falling apart before they believe... if i could show them all of that i would of showed them a long time ago, but its my secrets that are burried that are not allowed to show so its not my choice to keep it hidden, i go in and try to be serious and they just see a cold kind gentle type person sitting there trying to explain things that seem unlikely because im not falling apart and cursing everyone out or hallucinating

stay frosty , like me friend used to tell me <3