First, I want to say I love my fiancé very much and think she's an amazing woman. We just have different ways of communicating. When we get into an altercation, she wants to talk (argue) about it immediately, but I think it's wiser to wait until we aren't as heated and give it time to process.

She says I'm stonewalling and being emotionally void and I tell her I don't think as fast as she does and need more time to gather my thoughts and feelings, analyze the situation and give my self time to cool off so I don't say something hurtful I will regret later.

This leads to her getting frustrated with me, then following me wherever I am to harass and chastise me. This is a repeat situation for us that usually last for about 20-30 minutes at a time.

This last time, which was last week, it lasted on and off for hours through the night. Of course, since I was never given the chance to cool off and process, I couldn't get in the right headspace to think through, then talk about the situation.

The time before last, 8 days ago, I recorded the episode so I could show her later in hopes she would see from my prospective what it was like.

I just watched the video which starts about 20 minutes into the yelling and lasts for 1 minute 27 seconds. I counted 19 times during the minute and a half video where I asked to be left alone. Nearly every time she says something during the mean streaks, my response is various ways of saying "will you please give me some space, I'm not ready to talk right now".

My plan didn't work. Even after watching the video she has no remorse and doesn't think she's really doing anything wrong.

The other day, I was reading a state.gov website on what is considered domestic violence and abuse. To my surprise, the website listed harassment as a form of control and abuse which is by law treated as domestic violence.

When I showed her this, she got offended and said what she is doing isn't considered domestic violence. She was physically and verbally abused in a past relationship and can't fathom how the two could even be related.

I know what she was put through was very sad and traumatic as it always is in those situations. I know I won't be seeking group therapy for the torment I feel when she's doing it. I know there are far, far worse situations in the domestic violence category that people go through on a daily basis that don't even compare to the minor harassment I go through.

Which brings me to my question: Is what she is doing illegal?

I'm looking for opinions here, not legal advice. I would never even consider filling charges against her, but I want her to know and understand the seriousness of the situation and if, in fact, random people on the Internet who don't know us or have any bias think what she's doing is illegal in the eyes of the law.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this and even more so if you take a few seconds to give a quick thought on the matter, if you have one.