Fharraige is right. She wrote "Having been through long-term abusive relationships myself I can understand your doubts. However, there is a better life on the other side of this. It's going to take some work but it's there." That's true of me, too. I met a man in my city 6 years ago on Match.com. He treats me so well it amazes me every day. I've never been treated so sweetly, kindly, and with so much caring and understanding. One of the biggest reasons it's working for me is that WE DO NOT LIVE TOGETHER. I can't live with anyone! He's find with that. We both like our alone time. We are both artists (his is visual art, I'm a musician, but also do drawing). Our interests overlap a lot, but are not 100% the same. I've been in a lot of abusive relationships. I kept trying, and counseling around boundaries and how to prevent or end relationships with abusers. Divorce, for me, was worse than a death because the person is "still there" -- i.e. still alive and living someplace else -- and I was filled with a sense of failure, and wondering what happened. It took me 2 years go start getting interested in finding a new partner.