Thanks Carrie. How do u deal with this? When this gets hard to face, what helps get through this difficult decision? You don't have to answer, just kind of lost with this.

Well the night did not go well. Pretty soon I won't have any spots without a mess. Yep I failed once again. How ugly is that.

I give in. I am going to see my doctor shortly here. I really need something to sleep better. Maybe something to calm me. I need to be honest as ashamed as I feel. I can't continue to harm myself like this. I can't replace negatives with other negatives; thats what I am doing and its not good.

Thanks for the support, I love u all.

Justy