Hi jimmy rich. Excuse my language, but jeezes krist, you might be right!! I know now to not jump to conclusions based on what you said: after all, it's advice, not a sentence, but a lot of what you said rang true with me. I once worried I might have codependency, and the way I acted as a child lined up with the symptoms almost perfectly, but I eventually forgot about it. Yes, I'm a big people pleaser and every chance will go out of my way to be "nice." I can be also strangely mean and callous, out of nowhere. It'll happen when I feel very much out of control. I always need to feel in control of myself to feel safe.

Yeah, my parents were both abusive. My mother neglectful, my father emotionally, physically, and sometimes sexually abusive. Thankfully, codependency might have saved me in my early years with them since I used my kindness and hard work ethic to escape somehow and end up in a better spot than my sisters, who ended up having many more trials to fight through. People have said how amazing it was that I'm doing so okay nowadays.

Oh yeah, did I mention that one of my parents died of cancer?

My father was the "king" and I took the "understanding" route and went along with what he wanted, whereas my sisters tried troubled attempts at rebellion.

My parents separated almost continuously. The abuse I faced when I was alone with my father is even now almost too much to bear the thought of. Yeah, it was bad.

It'd make perfect sense that I'm codependent. I've noticed that I have seemed to be less "caring" over time, even though I think my true nature is a caring person, and it's been troubling me.

My boyfriend had issues as a child that his parents, although very loving and "stable," failed to provide him with. He didn't talk much, and everyone accepted that as normal, which I can't blame them for.

Yes, he's had a history of childhood anger. He explained that he'd get uncontrollably angry for no reason, and then later in life the anger just gradually disappeared.

To be honest, your post gave me a lot of hope. I feel like, yes, maybe I can feel better. Maybe I don't have to be miserable.

I mean, look at me. I'm not caring enough about my boyfriend. Although I do a ton for him, it's very difficult to put myself in his shoes. Not just my boyfriends, but everyone's. I feel so out of touch with everyone.

Maybe I could start with some good-rated books on codependency. I'm seeing a therapist in about a week. Maybe, if the time is right, I'll bring it up with her.

My biggest question has maybe been answered: what does my boyfriend get from living with me? He's not very interested in sex, he's usually okay money-wise, he doesn't quite treat me as a friend. Maybe he just wants someone to be there for him or something? It could be a deep-rooted, complex issue.