Hi just looking for some help to help me with my wifes ocd and depression. She is currently taking anti depressants (for around 2 years) and the doctor has asked her before to see a mental health advisor.

I have been pretty oblivious to it to be honest. Not really knowing what ocd was I just assumed it was something that made you clean or do certain tasks alot. It first started when we moved into our first house with our 2 year old from a flat. At the flat there didnt seem to be any problems maybe something slight but she was happy. When we moved to our first house she felt the need that it always needed it to be presentable but hardly having many visitors i just thought she was silly (in hind site hey).

Then a few years on we tried for another baby and was successful until we she had a miscarrage. It hit us both hard and she went into depression and i wasnt sure really what to do. Argued alot and nearly seperated.

18 months on we was married both of us happy as a pig in ****. Then finally baby number 2. Great all happy again but our 2 bedroom house was no longer big enough. We then moved to a 3 bedroom house and thats when the ocd really kicked in but me still completely oblivious to it like an idiot. Big 3 bedroom house and 2 kids equals alot of mess and housework.

She wont let me help with housework and if i do something its not right and she'll do it herself. At this moment in time she seems really depressed and exhausted. She works full time 40 hours as do i then she goes to the gym. She comes home and everything as to be done, sometimes even putting our kids 2nd to some of the jobs she does like hoovering and mopping and washing up a single cup. From getting home at around 7.30 she wont come to bed until after 1am because shes still doing jobs.

She will say to me sometimes shes really unhappy and cant cope with it all but wont stop or let me help and says she just wants to run anyway from everything and everyone. Im not giving up on her as she is the love of my life and i wont leave her to cope on her own. To be fair as ive been oblivious to it all shes really been coping on her and bottling it all up and not talking to me. I know see this, hopefully better late than never and really need some help as to how to deal with situations and what i can do to help make her happy again.