Quote:
Originally Posted by Maracat42
It's been a thing ever since I can remember. It's most definitely associated with feelings of guilt, though it's also a response to anger around me. I want to disappear through the floor, make myself as small as possible, etc. It makes me feel better, I'm hiding ky face, etc.
I know my parents yelled a lot before I was three.
I also overapologize, which can end up with me saying sorry for being sorry.
I don't have an issue myself with these behaviors, but they seem to elicit negative reactions in others, and when they point it out it just makes my own guilt for doing something wrong worse. But to them, it feels like a guilt trip, they don't like to see or hear apologies - one, as a teenager, said the reaction made him feel like he'd just kicked a puppy. Which just made me feel worse.
Since it happens before I am fully aware, I have been trying to work on it, but the people I'm living with currently say if I was really trying I wouldn't do it, that I'm just making excuses when I try to explain that I don't remember how it started and don't know how to make it stop entirely.
Does anyone else do this outside of therapy, and have any suggestions for terminating the behavior?
|
theres a saying here in my location ....habits are easy to make but hard to break....one thing that helped me in breaking this kind of habit was taking assertiveness type classes like self defense classes, and marshal arts (marshal arts are things like...karate, aikido, judo, tai chi) self defense and marshal arts classes all teach how to face danger rather than run, shrink, curl up....basically learning how to stand up for what you believe in and stand up to all kinds of perceived and real dangers. most cities in the USA have a variety of these kinds of classes and sometimes places like domestic violence programs, crisis centers and colleges also teach these kinds and other types of assertiveness training classes.