Is there more help for your depression?
I know I have fought against mine for a lifetime and when it's very exacerbated, I think along similar lines. This type of thinking is, for me, an indicator of the depth of depression.
I am finally doing better and not thinking like this all of the time. I feel a little glimmer of hope and of potential purpose in each day. Med changes have helped me. Med changes and stress reduction.
I hope you find relief in a way which celebrates life/living.

WC