It's not appropriate for either you or your ex to talk to your daughter about one another. The child (even now as an adult) should not have to hear her parents talk badly about the other. It's just not appropriate or healthy. It's not her job to hear about your feelings or your anger over him. The child needs to be kept out of that. If you don't want her to meet her father in the yard, that's ok-- ask that they meet at a local coffee shop, library, or park. But please stop talking to your daughter about her father; it's unhealthy and inappropriate.