Hello lolarose: Yes... I believe you are on target here. Someone can only take so much. I really believe that those of us who struggle with mental health issues have to realize family & friends have their limits. So it is up to us to find ways not to continually transgress those limits. If we cannot, or will not, then we must be prepared to suffer the consequences. That's just the way it is. So I'd like to complement you on your insight here.

I don't know as I have any particular suggestions I can make. I know in my own case, I struggle with quite a lot of generalized anxiety. And it is this anxiety that I think has tended to fuel my own extreme emotional upheavals. So what I try to do is to be "mindful" of how I'm feeling & where my thoughts are going in any particular situation. I also maintain a regular meditation practice.

I strive to not simply react to whatever comes up. I find that if I can simply create a bit of space between something my spouse says that might set me off, & when I respond, this can make the difference between replying compassionately versus blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm not on psych med's nor do I see a therapist. So it's up to me to see to it that I find ways to control what could potentially be my abrasive, sarcastic temperament. It's a work in progress...