You can't live by yourself, I get that. There are options, though. Have you considered going into assisted living? They'd help you with appointments and such. If you have medicade and/or disability then you'll most likely be accepted and assisted through the services they provide or have reference to. You've been through enough trauma and it's time for you to start getting some real help. I'm sorry that all of this has happened to you, though.
I do have to say that I see a strength in your post that maybe you aren't aware of. You're able to talk about this, even if only here. I still haven't been able to discuss what happened to me. I dance around it but that's all I can do. There's a strength in that. A sort of power, if you will. Notice and be proud of these things, after some time it could help build up some self-esteem.