As a child of an ugly divorce, I was upset to read your post. I understand that this person has hurt you and you likely have very legitimate reasons for feeling the way that you do. However, the way you talk about this issue is alarming to me. Your daughter loves her father. It is not her job to be there for you to vent your frustrations about him. She clearly already has a very difficult life, helping her mother support the household. Even if this man is part of that problem, she loves him. My estranged mother put me to hell and back, and I would still do anything to see her or make her life just a little easier. I'm sure your daughter is no different, and it's not fair of you to punish her for that love. You are entitled to your feelings, but you are not entitled to impose those feelings on your child. I apologize if this comes off as harsh--but I think it is also for your own well-being to realize what is happening here. You are alienating your child by fostering this disconnect. Being a parent does not mean being on the same "team", or thinking the same thoughts, or aligning against the same enemy. It means supporting your child's best interest. Sometimes you may disagree on what that looks like, but it never--ever--looks like spitefulness or attempting to snuff out love. If you don't find a way to heal this peacefully, by finding a healthy way to vent your frustrations elsewhere and facilitating a healthy relationship your daughter, she isn't going to stick around to let you embitter her. And she shouldn't. Don't try to guilt her with your tears--that emotional manipulation is only going to callous her against you. We should all, as adults, be seeking to teach our children love and tenderness. You can teach her how to be safe without teaching her to hate. And here's the really beautiful part: she can love *you* without having to agree with you. Love, especially parental love, has never been about sharing identical viewpoints or always sharing the same path. It has never been about sharing every frustration and every feeling with each other. It's not even about being friends. It's about nurturing, growth, and being a safe place for one another. You can disagree with her, and even be hurt, and still be that safe place.