I totally understand that you don't want to deal with your ex at all. I understand that he hurt you deeply and that can never be forgotten. But it hurts your daughter to be stuck in the middle between her parents fighting and talking mess about one another. So you have to put your feelings aside. I would suggest that you not tell your daughter your feelings about her father anymore. Sit her down and tell her that you love her very much. Tell her she is important and you need her. Tell her that she matters. Tell her that you are sorry about how things are with you and her father. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her anymore by saying negative things about her father. Tell her that you want her to have a relationship with her father. Tell her you'd rather her make plans with him away from your home so that there's no chance of you and her father fighting. Tell her that it is okay to love you and love her father. Tell her that she doesn't have to ever pick a side. Hug her tightly. Cherish having a wonderful daughter who lives with you and helps you. Always, always do what is in the best interest of your daughter. And if you need someone to talk to about all the hurt you feel over your ex-husband discuss it with a friend or a therapist. Best wishes to you