maybe one day...

pdoc tomorow and im falling apart...
i'll sit down to talk to them again... and they wont listen or believe me or hear what im saying again... i just know that they aren't going to be able to help once again because they just dont understand or know whats happening..
i tried and tried and tried... but i feel like they just dont listen..
i can feel it coming already... i just know that by tomorow evening i'll be back full swing depressive mode... everything is going crazy, i just dont think i can handle this..
i want it to be over with so bad so tired of it all..
but it gets worse and worse and worse... and i keep pushing harder and harder...
im pshing too hard and there is nothing i can do... i dont see any solutions or see any way things can improve.. how can anything get better when the people that are suposed to be helping me dont even get it... when it seems like they dont even care....
how can i say anything when everything i have said before i have been told to stop, to let the doctor do their job, but look at what the doctors have done.. nothing but misdiagnose me and make it even harder for me... me tell you my symptoms? how can i tell you my symptoms when you keep telling me to stop playing doctor? because i try to explain .. how can you even have a clue what im feeling if i cant explain... so tired of this....

i dont know what to do... scared of being depressed like that... i dont want to be depressed like that anymore... please just go away