I'm trying to regroup. You know how hard I've been working on this. Part of me says enough, it is time to give up. My depression has me thinking there is no way I can go back to work under these circumstances, having tried and failed, and having been called out on my failure by one of my co workers. The fact that I am letting that one person get to me over my life and livelihood disturbs me, but it is where I am and it is partly who I am, so I feel stuck here. I am trying to regroup and see if I can find a way out but I've also been in bed all day today, I showered at 3pm and went back to bed. I don't even want to think about trying to go in to work the rest of the week. My boss is understanding and is keeping my job for me but there is a limit to that if I just keep not showing up. Tomorrow I might try to go to Seaside again. My trip there two weeks ago helped me. Calmed me down and I was able to eat while I was down there. Last week went again expecting to eat but could not finish half of one gyro and it's all I ate all day there. Trying to decide if it will be beneficial or harmful to try again.