Hello Chasms (and everyone else). So your obsession is suicide itself? I've had similar obsessions like for example, when my nieces were born I couldn't take them in my arms for MONTHS after they were born because I kept having sudden thoughts about dropping them or hurting them unwillingly. In this case, the obsession was not hurting myself, it was hurting others.

Later on, I've learned to assume and distance myself from those thoughts seeing them not as ideas for the future but just as random thoughts that cross my mind and I'm trying too hard to shake off! It also helped me to read somewhere that most people have that kind of thoughts but they only present a problem to OCD people because we obsess about them.