I am super med-compliant because I don't want to descend into that dark depression again. Like flowerbells, I have books and binders and thousands of pages of journals to evidence how bad the depression and anxiety were for 7 years. Then I have journals and charts of what happened after I got on mood stabilizers, and it is sooooo much better.

Another factor is that I've never had happy mania. My hypomanic symptoms are always negative. So getting away from the darkness is the only direction I want to go.

I really, really want to be happy and balanced and content in my life, and I know the only way to get there is to get the chemical issues in my brain fixed, and only meds can do that.