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sister said:
When we grow up in families without boundaries, we do not learn how to establish boundaries between ourselves and others or ourselves and the world.

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That's interesting to me, sister. I don't really equate the lack of boundaries in my childhood (mother stomping all over my feelings, never being allowed to speak up, parents beating me, etc.) to the boundary of a therapist holding firm to a set time for the session. They do not seem similar at all to me. My T is often running late and it does not bother me at all. If I compare that to my childhood, I had a mother who was obsessed with everything in its place and never being a minute late, in fact, being 10 minutes early to everything or it was a major life disaster, etc. It feels good to me that my T is kind of an easygoing guy, just like me, and I don't think that impinges at all on my learning to set boundaries.

Mouse, now that you've written more, I can see how your T sticking so firmly to the time has therapeutic value for you. When I initially read your post about how you were unable to get to your appointment on time, and your T would not let you have the following session, even though it was open, I thought, "Wow, how harsh! Why not?" But now I can see it has helped you to some important insights. It is really interesting that she used the word "protected." I think the frame can be pretty important to the T. I remember once not to long ago that I opened my session by telling T that the frame was feeling kind of shaky to me. Wow, did that perk up his ears. (See How to get your T's attention and other tales from psychotherapy clients....)