I feel like someone is inside my head flipping a light switch on and off, light to dark, positive to negative. I'm drowning in my past and am afraid of the future to come, I can't sleep soon once school starts I'll stop eating. I feel so misunderstood right now and can't find my voice when talking to people it just seems pointless. I went to Yellowstone with my dad his girlfriend my sister and her two daughters for a week and all I could think was he said he didn't even care if we came my disablity made it worse by tripping me up (literally) but now I'm home and exhausted. I can't hold onto joy, can't find control, can't get rid of my fear. I have my yearly X Rays for my cerebral palsy next week and that's mostly what's keeping me awake it always makes me depressed or nervous I really hope my injuries heal from falling. What's the point of all this when I can't get any better?