I really doubt that you ruined the sex. When I was married my H preferred porn and self stimulation to sex with me and I thought I was not sexy enough.

It was very different with my next relationship because my partner had a high libido like I did and liked more kinky things. We would watch porn together and say, I want to do 'that' to you and it was entirely different to how my previous partner used porn.

There is a saying like sex is not important when you are satisfied with the sex in a relationship but becomes very important when you are not satisfied. Something like that.....