I get to see my pdoc today. This is the first time I'm seeing him outside the hospital setting. I am getting very nervous for some reason. I am scared that because of the way I've been feeling the last couple of weeks he will put me back in the hosptial. I don't have time for that. I am the committee chair for the celebrations committee and I have to speak tomorrow at the general council, I have the prizes to get, and I have to be at the party on Halloween. If I'm in the hospital I can't do any of that. I think that he will say well you can't do any of that if you are dead either. I know that and am trying to stay in this side of the living but lately its been very hard.

I don't know what he will say when I tell him that my GP and I are thinking that Topamax would be a better fit for me instead of the Equetro I'm on because Topamax helps with migranes and I've been getting one of those almost every day.

I am very scared and could use some good thoughts today.

Jbug