You're a talented writer, Lefty! Do you write for a living? I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated with bipolar and weary of the struggle. It sounds like you're high-functioning with all your family responsibilities. It must be a tremendous weight. I just have a dog and am doing well in circumstances of low-stress. I used to be a computer programmer for the government and be married and have all sorts of family obligations. I felt numb from all the demands. When my favorite cat died i hardly shed a tear i was so overwhelmed by my unmanageable life.

Now i have a new life tho and it's very rewarding, just my dog and i.

Your last paragraph talked about world problems. I used to care a lot about that and be a political activist. I was part of a political collective and went to marches and rallies and protests. I was a member of the Young Communists and we called each other, "Comrade."

But i gave that all up and ignore the news now because i have my own problems. I don't have the personal resources to care about things that i can't do anything about. One day i realized i was not upset by the NATO war in The Balkans -- i was heartbroken about my divorce. I realized i have plenty to deal with just managing my own life and i've never looked back. I'm a lot happier now.