Help. I'm really low right now. I've been pretty stable for quite awhile... good doc, good meds, but life has been having a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I've managed to stay pretty focused but these last few days I've been so depressed. So horribly depressed. I shouldn't be. I really shouldn't be. Yes, I am unemployed, but I know this is temporary... its not that I can't work, I just have to find something. So I guess I am bored but I've been keeping somewhat busy. Then friday, even though nothing specific happened, I started to feel bad. I'm dealing with a grandma with alzheimers and a grandpa going depressed watching her suffer. My other grandpa is giving me issues about my weight. He believes I should only eat twice a day or I'm going to be fat forever. He doesn't believe that weight loss programs and counting calories and all that stuff work and he seems to think insulting me is going to make me work harder at it. I got in a big argument with him yesterday and my dad didn't help... telling him about my occasional nighttime binges... But I'm going back to school and that should make me happy. It scares me though. I have failed at it before and despite my recent very strong academic successes, my past keeps peering into my head. I just want to be alone all the time. I'm so sad and lonely, even though I live with my parents and my mom and I are as close as can be. I don't know, is it the disorder? Is it life? I haven't felt such depression in months and I'm really hating it.