Feeling like I might be in this forever, and trying my best to hide it for the sake of my child.
That has to be the hardest for me. As someone who works in the psychology field, I constantly hear of the dangers of children who grow up with maternal depression. It bums me out. I sit through lectures from "professionals" who talk as if those children will be forever damaged because their parent had a mental illness. Children who will suffer immensely because depressed parents have low affect, because depressed parents are 'not always there' mentally, because depressed parents cannot always care for a child as well as a mentally well parent can. And it hurts me. It cuts deep. I don't want that for my child. So I do my best to not let him see what I am going through because I don't want him to be "damaged".