Quote:
Originally Posted by PenguinExMachina
Feeling like I might be in this forever, and trying my best to hide it for the sake of my child.
That has to be the hardest for me. As someone who works in the psychology field, I constantly hear of the dangers of children who grow up with maternal depression. It bums me out. I sit through lectures from "professionals" who talk as if those children will be forever damaged because their parent had a mental illness. Children who will suffer immensely because depressed parents have low affect, because depressed parents are 'not always there' mentally, because depressed parents cannot always care for a child as well as a mentally well parent can. And it hurts me. It cuts deep. I don't want that for my child. So I do my best to not let him see what I am going through because I don't want him to be "damaged".
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I'm really sorry to hear that you're suffering, especially when your primary concern is not even you, but your child. I think that in itself speaks volumes of who you are as a parent-- and that's not a negative thing. Where in the world are you going to find a perfect family with a perfect family dynamic free of any "problem" -- mental or otherwise? I don't think you should take to heart everything that you're seeing and hearing. There is merit to it, but keep in mind theory and reality not always meet at the same place. Often I sit through lectures about discipline in the classroom, or tactics for differentiation,.. things that on paper look amazing, but have very little implementation potential or isn't as effective as it should be. I know that's a completely different scenario, but I do think there are key pieces that are similar.
You're doing what you can. You're seeking help, you're wanting to best for your family and you're not giving up -- that's all you can really ask of yourself right now. You're a very strong person to be able to do that! I really hope you get to feeling better... at least know you're not all alone in all of it.
