I certainly wish I knew. I want to be able to review the work we've done together, be able to tell her how much this whole process has meant to me, talk about how I have felt being in therapy with her in particular, and I think I want to know her feelings about ending therapy with me. I don't know. Something big got triggered in me in my session the other day, and now I think I want "closure" as in being able to say goodbye because my biggest fear in the whole "taking a break" thing without saying goodbye is that she will die and I won't know it and I won't have been able to say goodbye just like I didn't get to say goodbye to my grandmother before she died 38 years ago. Irrational perhaps. But that's what I've been thinking. And I need to talk with her about that. Thanks for this thread, I want to ponder over all of the responses they are all helpful to me as I try to figure this whole thing out for myself.