I went to see my pdoc today. She let me sit and sob and said it was ok to feel like this. She said it is going to take a long time to get over all the trauma I have faced. She also said I am yearning for the maternal love I never received from my mum, she told me to do what makes me feel safe, what comforts me and that it's the little girl inside of me that is coming to the surface, I have to look after her. She has been through the same herself. She told me that when I am needy it is the little girl in me, when I am angry or triggered the little girl again, I told this to my husband, he may understand a little more and not use the words that trigger me.

I feel a little better, I just need to sleep. Thankyou for you rreplies, Love you all so much, thankyou for being here for me

Jinny xx