It is week five at university and I'm drowning. I've been working hard to keep up with the work, dropped one of my two units and tried to look after my health. Still, my brain is broken. I can comprehend the work but cannot find words to express myself in essays, assignments etc. my creativity is dead too.

I have an assignment due next week and cannot even write one sentence. It seems hopeless. The cut off to withdraw from the unit before I have to pay for it is next week. Right now I don't feel I can manage any uni this semester. It feels like failure to drop out but what can I do.

To deal with the depression crisis I'm in I asked for an emergency appointment with my pdoc. Thankfully I got one tomorrow. Problem is that is when I should be at uni finding more about my assignment. I was hoping to go to uni tomorrow and see if it helped my brain get around the assignment. Now I can only go to one of four hours of it. It seems over now. I must drop out.

Dropping out makes me more depressed and hopeless. I can't do anything. I can barely function. I am drowning. What hope do I have of a decent job if my brain doesn't work? Or a relationship? Thoughts of death plague me. I don't even know why I wrote this. Just needed to tell someone I guess.