Here's my situation.

I'm a fifteen-year-old girl. Yeah, I know. Not the best sentence to start with, I'm sure you all have some preconceived notions. But the reason I'm here asking for advice is because I'm not "typical" per say, especially when it comes to relationships.

I don't have much to do with teenage dating and social scenes. I find that sort of thing trivial and unnecessary.

When I met my friend Ben, the thought of a complex social issue didn't even cross my mind. He's not my type. Physically, I don't have an eye for him. Plus at the time, my friend liked him and that pretty much turned him off to me.

We were introduced by this mutual friend. I had known of Ben through school, but I never talked to him because he's an extrovert, very well-liked, and even if I were comfortable with him, he was usually in mixed company.

Anyway, in less than a year's time, Ben and I have become pretty good friends. I identify with him more than any of my friends. I don't like him... At least I don't think so.

Ben and I have a pretty comfortable relationship. Even when we're just sitting around, we're usually lying scissor-legged (if that's the word for it) so we can massage each other's feet while we watch TV. We're comfortable with each other physically, but we're not physically intimate.
Emotionally, Ben knows a lot about me. About some of my personal demons. He's interested in psychology, so he's willing to listen. I suppose trust exists for him, but it's always hard for me to trust anyone, so I'm still apprehensive about telling him some things.

For the longest time, I couldn't understand why so many girls at school like him. I was content being his friend, I couldn't ask for anything more of him. But now I'm not so sure. He's said (to many of my friends who asked) that he doesn't like me. And why should he? I wonder if perhaps he feels the same way about me as I do about him? Not lust, really...
It's more of a thing where there's not much that would change if we decided we both liked each other. Physical intimacy, perhaps, but that's not something either of us require, really. We've each gotten our hormones under control.

But at this point, I for some reason wish we were together. Maybe because some small horny teenager part of me wants to have a physical relationship, or maybe the simplicity of it appeals to me.

If nothing else, I want to further deepen our friendship. I'm not very co-dependent, but sometimes I need someone who will be there for me, and I'm not so sure I'm his best friend, even if I'd love for him to be mine.

Either way, what do I do now? How do I figure out how I really feel, and where do I go from there? What should I say to him, and how can I improve our friendship?