Hi almedafan. Sorry you are not feeling as great as you might have predicted right now, given your wonderful last session.

I can have varying reactions to such times of awareness and closeness in therapy.
--afterwards I may feel even closer to my T, and the next session feels so great. We are really close.
--I can feel so "up" after a great session, especially this happened with the EMDR ones, that I felt almost manic. But this mood didn't maintain, and after 3,4,5 days or so, I would come crashing down. I could feel the crash coming and hated knowing it would be here soon. Sometimes I would try to hold it off with alcohol.
--the next session can also be just blah. It can be hard to maintain the intensity of peak sessions. I am learning it is OK to have those milder, less connected times together.

I think also it is one thing to have awareness (the first step) and another thing to act on our awareness and change our negative patterns of behavior. So it can be even more frustrating and disappointing when you know something you are doing is destructive and self-defeating, but yet you can't stop yourself.

So the short answer is, how I react to those peak sessions can really vary a lot.

Good luck. Hang in there until Wednesday.