These are letters that I wrote to my teachers on my idiocy. Check it out:

Ami,

At this point in my 8th grade school year, I feel it is imperative that you be more honest than you have been. I know that all my teachers in the past have thought of me as “smart” or “intelligent” and “wise”. But I will no longer fall for this sort of deception. I can see through the cracks of your praises and now realize that secretly you wish that I would disappear, in whatever form or fashion, so that my idiocy will no longer pollute your class. Yes, I am aware that everyone cares (seems to care) that I am on several different toxins that mess up my system. I mean all you have to do is look at Prozac and say “That kid will never get better with that kind of crap” Most people die on that stuff because they have killed themselves. Perhaps one day I will join them. Don’t worry; I’m under suicide watch anyways.

I feel that in all classes we have together that I am not trying. I barely even meet standard, so what does that say? I certainly haven’t passed with flying colors in Language Arts. God, how can you stand my flaccid and trite essays where I say “Oh pitiful pearl. Oh woe is me” over and over again. Nobody should take this mental illness stuff into consideration when regarding my academic performance. So what I have depression? My dad is bipolar. There are 2 million people in the US that have schizophrenia. I have a baby illness and a fixation on diagnosis that you should not even know about. I am expected to meet standard in order to pass. To give that to me simply because I’ve been to a hospital a few times is ludicrous and even illegal to a certain extent.

I’m a joke. A worthless concentrated pile of human waste and I deserve no sympathy or kindness. I want you to crack down on me, so like that you won’t tolerate my sub standard performance.

I am an inch away from saying screw it. Either you actually tell me the truth or I will never come back and never communicate anything to you. The ball is in your court.

Sincerely,

Philip, the class moron.

P.S: I know that you are going to disagree with this whole heartedly because you still believe that you can trick me. Quite the reference to snakes in popular cultures. The trickster character. Ironic, isn’t it? A snake lover that is herself a snake and liar, but only to me. I love who you are. You are a beautiful person inside and out, so do not be hurt by this letter. I am simply reporting the facts. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

Shelly,

I am very happy that you will soon be a mother. I wish that your child is well. But the main reason I have written this letter is not that. I am of course talking about my failures and inability to meet your standard. Time and time again I have shamed and humiliated you with my idiocy. I may have at one time had but a fraction of an average mind, but know my mind has been destroyed by these chemicals I am forced to take. I sincerely apologize for being an asinine student.

But, I will always know the lies you have been feeding me. Lies that I am relevant. Lies that I will have some power in this world. These are not true and you, along with Ami, have been deceiving me, feeding me hope when it is undeserved and unneeded. I want you to tell me the truth. Are you capable is the question. Ami is obviously not. And you seem like an even bigger liar.

Math is harder for me. This means I fail, no matter what happens. And why do you cater to my “problems” in this subject? News flash, no amount of work can save me. There is nothing or no one that can do anything. Of course, life proves me wrong? I have yet to see it.

In conclusion, if you do not fail me, I will leave. I deserve an F because I do not try. I am pathetic. The ball is in your court…

Sincerely,

Philip, the idiot who’s not in your homeroom

P.S: I’m surprised what you gave me for my math journal. That disheveled hunk of junk should immediately count as a failure. Not of you, but of me.

I think that I'm right. I'm sure they'll get pissed. They can't handle the truth...