I'm sorry you went through that. My pdoc says stress is the killer for bipolar disorder. So that was a huge factor for you, you wanted a break...a fun one. I get you on the mania thing. I've never ditched all my meds but I've had fully blown mania several times. As you know, they are always intense. And this time not much fun for you.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Think of it like this. You made it through. Unless you left something out, the manic episode was not a total disaster? That's kind of a "win." I know it's a crummy consolation prize but it sounds like you avoided catastrophes? Like not in jail, not spending all your money, not spontaneously flying to Belize, etc.

What's your med situation now? Hang in there. xo