Dear LadyShadow,
I haven't logged on to Pschcentral for nearly a month but your post grabbed my attention. I was a believer when I was young but mostly a doubter now. The one exception was when I actually survived a very serious attempt (It was my one and only attempt and I work everyday to ensure I don't get that way again). But now, nearly a year and a half later, the feeling has faded.
Life was much simpler and had more meaning when I believed that Jesus Christ was my saviour! But I can't pretend to have feelings that are not in my heart. I respect and am happy for those who believe and hope you once again find your way back to the spirituality you once had.
Regardless of where your spiritual path leads you, I sometimes read your posts and notice they all have a lot of heart and soul. So whether or not there is a god, there is a wonderful spirit inside of you. Maybe "God" just lives inside of all of us! I don't know. Obviously, spirituality is a struggle for many on PsychCentral because we ruminate way more than we should about all kinds of things.
Sincerely, Myst