Hello HorseLover, thanks for responding. I am sorry you are dealing with this as well - I wouldn't wish this nightmare on another living soul, truly. That said, I think for my part each day I have to find that one thing that will keep me going. It can be something different every day. Whatever it turns out to be I hold on to it as if my life depended on it and I work it for all it is worth. It can be a song, an article, a book or a person I can talk to. Unfortunately my depression has evolved into a deep and penetrating anger that comes out on occasion. I go to the gym and pour that negative energy into a brutal workout to get the dopamine going. I can usually sleep better as a result.

My point, as long as I'm not hurting myself or others with some sort of abuse cycle, I do whatever I have to do to get through each day, sometimes it comes down to getting through the next hour. I think it's about managing the time I have to spend in this downturn until my situation improves. With each passing day I feel myself getting stronger and that propels me forward. Best wishes always.